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The Conservative Mindcleaner

The Legend of Mindcleaner

Chris Naron was born in the one horny toad town of Barstow, California. But, more authentic trailer parks called him home to Greenville, Mississippi. As he grew, Chris became a mediocre student, a very good football player (back home, they teach the forearm club instead of that sissy patty-cake block Yankees are so fond of) and a thoroughly incompetent fisherman and hunter.

Then, the USSR invaded Afghanistan and the US stopped sending them grain. So, because that was the extent Jimmy Carter’s response, Chris’ father had to abandon a once booming river transportation business. It was back to the Golden State at the age of fifteen, dude.

High School saw a masterful display of academic mediocrity. Content to play football and keep the party crowd well supplied, Chris graduated Suma Thank The Laude.

Hard, slave labor followed high school after an attempt at community college that was embarrassing for everyone involved. Chris worked as a roofer, a vet’s assistant, a truck driver, a taxi driver, a telemarketer, an electrical sign installer and salesman, and a tutor for rich kids. Oh, and he sold Amway too.

Eventually, Chris found an attractive, intelligent woman gullible enough to marry him and bear his children. Playtime was over. Chris went back to Mt. SAC, the community college that had kicked him out, and agreed to start all over on academic probation. Other than a B in Anthropology, he earned straight A’s and graduated with highest honors and an AA degree. He went on to Cal Poly Pomona as a history major and graduated Suma Cum Laude and as the top History Department graduate. A Master’s Degree in Education and a teaching credential followed as well as his current job teaching high school in Montclair, California.

Chris now lives in nearby Chino, CA with his wife and three lovely children. He remains a Christian-conservative-metal head-Raider fan. He shaves his head so the neighbors will accept him. Hairless and heartless sums up the Mindcleaner.