Torn Between Two Lovers

Just for the fun of it and because I'm hoping to finally start a real discussion, I'm going to ask a question where I want you to imagine that you are starting all over again and discuss how you would handle such a dilemma. Besides, it seems like it's been ages since I've asked one of those Meaning of Life questions.

What would you do if you fell for two different people and decided you were ready to settle down?

The first one is the love you have been waiting for all of your life. He is your soulmate. Your skin tingles when he looks at you. You have never known such excitement before and are certain you will never feel this way again. You can't believe he loves you. He is so good-looking that you wonder if he has ever graced the cover of a Harlequin.

His voice is so sexy that you melt when he says your name. He always seems to know the perfect thing to say to make you feel beautiful. Such romance you have never known before and thought it only happened in the movies. His kiss is to die for and he seems to know instinctively what pleases you.

On the other hand, if you were to look up the word tumultuous in the dictionary, there would be a picture of the two of you. One minute you are getting along as if you were made for each other, the next you are fighting like Tony Snow and Helen Thomas. While you love the make-ups, you never know what kind of weekend you are going to have this time. It seems your heart has been broken so many times, you don't know how much more it can take.

Then there's the nice one . . . Mr. Dependable. Yep, you know what the weekends are going to be like with him. He doesn't exactly make your skin tingle. Of course, your family likes him as does your best friend. They never stop telling you how much. Shoot, even your cat likes him and she doesn't like anyone.

Yet, he never takes you for granted and is always so considerate of how anything that he does might affect you. There was the time when you got stuck at work because of a sudden snow storm in the middle of the day and who would be the one to call you and make sure you were okay? Him. Who was it that left work early just so he could come pick you up and make sure you got home safely? Him, naturally.

And while he might not be the King of Romance, every time you turn around, he is doing something for you that is so thoughtful that your heart flutters with tenderness at the mere thought of him. He leaves you little love notes and has even written a song just for you. Sometimes when you catch him looking at you, the look in his eyes is indescribable.

He even laughs at your jokes. You even have certain words that either of you can say and the other will burst out laughing because it reminds them of a past joke you two shared.

He has never lied to you and you know you can trust him no matter what. His views on God and children is so in line with your own that sometimes you don't know where he ends and you begin.

And before you men think I'm letting you off the hook, let me give you your options. You too are starting all over again and have found yourself in love with two different women. You have come to the point in your life where you are ready to settle down. What would you do?

The first one is so beautiful that she takes your breath away. Her body is to die for and she has this way of moving that her touch gives you chill bumps. When she talks, the sound of her voice reminds you of a cat purring. And the stories she has to tell are so exotic and interesting that you find yourself rapt with attention at her every word.

Anytime you go somewhere together, all the men turn around and look at her and you know they are wondering how in the world you ended up with someone so stunning. You find yourself thinking about her at the most unusual times and have never felt the way you feel about her about anyone. You have never wanted to be loved by someone the way you do her. Your times together are the ultimate in excitement and exhilaration.

On the other hand, you two have a very tumultuous relationship. Your arguments have gotten so loud that you've been afraid one of your neighbors might call the police anytime now. You've lost count of how many times she has walked away saying she never wants to see you again. You've noticed that when you two are broken up that she is unreachable and her car is very rarely at her place when you've just happened to drive by.

Then there's the sweet one . . . Miss Tender-heart. She is not nearly as beautiful as the other one. Her figure is okay but nothing to write home about. Your heart does not flutter when she walks in the room. She doesn't even wear make-up that often and obviously doesn't spend much money on the latest styles of clothing. Sometimes it gets on your nerves how little she splurges on herself, almost acting like a martyr in the way she gives most of her extra income to pet causes or charities.

Yet, the conversations you two have are quite stimulating. She can hold her own in any discussion about current events that interest you. You love to call her because you know that whatever you talk about, at the end of the conversation you are going to be left pondering some new idea that you have never considered before.

Your dog gets so excited when she comes over that he often has an accident in the house just waiting on you to open the door. She has a wonderful sense of humor and makes you laugh every time you are together. She loves listening to your jokes and even thinks they are funny.

Even without the make-up and fine clothes, she has this fresh, down-to-earth look that makes you want to know how she would look just waking up. She is always interested in the things that you find important and has this way of making you feel like you are the most brilliant man around. She respects you and anticipates your needs and desires. She totally gets you and you have never met anyone as kind as her. While you two do have your differences, you share the same views on the most important things in life. No matter what, she is always there for you when you need someone.

Okay now it's your turn. Who would you choose and why? Anyone?

Elusively yours,
ilja