Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Moe, Was Scott McClellen Scott McMole?

As Conspiracy theories go, I've got one that has been mulling it's way in my head this morning that is both too diabolical and brilliant to possibly be true. Still I'm going to share it with my readers because it's just too fun to pass up.

Have any of you considered the possibility that former Press Secretary Scott McClellan was really a Democrat Mole? I mean just think about it. As the saying goes there's no better way to defeat an enemy than to defeat him from within. And we all know that the biggest Achilles heel of President Bush's administration has been an inability to communicate.

In addition, one of President Bush's best and worst traits is his dogmatic approach to loyalty. Therefore, simply because Scott McClellan was easily the worst Press Secretary in our lifetime, at least in recent memory, that would not be enough for Bush to fire the man as soon as it became obvious that he needed to be let go which in my opinion was after his first White House Press Conference.

I remember thinking at the time that I was sorely disappointed to see Ari Fleischer go but could hardly blame him for leaving as being a Press Secretary to a Republican President has got to be one of the most stressful jobs in the world, especially to a Republican President that dares to believe in the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

In the beginning of McClellan's stint, after the bang-up job that Ari did, I suspect that some in the administration rationalized that of course McClellan looked and sounded ineffectual when you consider the stark contrast between him and Ari. Still, surely they had to realize in short order that McClellan was simply incapable of doing an even half-way decent job as the President's spokesperson.

Thus, dismissing any possibility that McClellan had something on someone, the only possible explanation of why he kept his job was because of Bush's loyalty flaw. It's rather ironic when you consider that apparently, McClellan himself has no such characteristic.

Of course, one of the arrows you could shoot in my theory is that wouldn't this be considered illegal? Well I'm no lawyer but I suspect that yes, it would be. However, even if it is, how many times do you ever hear about someone on the left actually being held accountable for their crimes? Besides, wouldn't McClellan be considered the ultimate whistle blower?

Then there's the thought that McClellan is simply too ignorant to have carried off such a scheme. Don't you remember the infamous Shoe Bomber? After all, thanks to that rather seemingly clueless terrorist, we now are subject to having to show the holes in our socks at airports.

Yes, yes, I know this is a rather far-fetched idea, but still, wouldn't it have been an ideal set-up for the Dem's? Who'da thunk a mere 7 years from the worst attack on American soil that most Americans would be so willing to negotiate with terrorists or at least to prefer defeat in Iraq to victory wherever this War against Terrorism takes us?

We live in an age where one of our elected officials can freely claim with no repercussions that John McCain's military background is a detriment instead of an asset. Is there really anything beyond the scope of possibilities these days?

As for Scott McClellan being a mole, if I were him, I think I would prefer folks to think of me as purposely digging holes from which my boss could never recover than simply thinking I'm really that incompetent.

Elusively yours,
ilja