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RightNation.US: The Rubber Band Theory to Relationships - RightNation.US

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I heard a theory once that involved relationships between men and women and rubber bands. It's possible that my memory is lapsing in places so please forgive me if I make a major kurfluffle. The reason I am bringing this up is because a friend recently asked for my input on a male/female relationship and this theory came to mind.

When you are in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex, particularly in the beginning, the relationship is often like a rubber band. Picture the two of you at opposite ends of a large rubber band, leaning against it from the inside so as to make it taut.

Next picture one of you moving a little closer to the center of the circle where the rubber band starts to loosen up and it will soon fall if only you move.

Now picture the other person noticing the rubber band starting to fall and in order to keep it from falling, they step back further away from you so as to keep the rubber band taut.

Now picture yourself deciding to lean back against the rubber band again in reaction to the other person pulling away from you. However, if you lean too far back the rubber band will break so you can only lean so far if you don't want to break the band.

The rubber band represents your relationship or at least the beginning of a relationship. The two of you leaning against the rubber band are congruent to the way you act in your relationship.

Haven't you ever noticed that it seems like the ones that you could care less if they are interested are the same ones that can't seem to get enough of you? Then doesn't it seem that the one that you find the most attractive is the one that doesn't come at your beck and call?

I am not saying that this is applicable to all people or to all relationships. Yet it does seem rather common in most people that I have known who share stories of their romantic trysts.

Some people will claim that taking this ideal into consideration when conducting themselves in a relationship is not being real and is tantamount to playing games. I disagree. I consider it simple human nature.

Isn't the value of something often in tandem to how rare and unusual it is? It's just like in the law of supply and demand. The less you have of something or the more something is wanted by a larger number of people, the higher the price aka worth.

Attracting and retaining someone's attention is often just like dancing with someone. You move and they move in reaction to one another. It's just like with the rubber band. If one of you pulls away, the other is going to naturally be more attracted and pull closer. Yet if one moves closer too fast or too soon, the other will naturally pull away. Then again if one pulls away too much or too fast, then they risk totally breaking the band all together. Just like if one moves close too fast or too soon the band can fall to the ground and that's it.

So to borrow a term from the #1 Cable guy, what say you?

Elusively yours,
ilja
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9 Comments On This Entry

You could also closely relate this to the 'slinky' model of relationships.
There you are, happily living your life, when there is a distrubance in the coils.
They shake, and vibrate, and move about, sometimes, oftentimes causing movement, slight, or great.
Then the other person actually gets involved, and there is much movement, and the coils expand and contract until you achieve some semblance of equilibrium or they go away, then the coils settle down and balance is achieved once again.

Sometimes your movement is because someone sent you down the steps.

Relationships as rubber band or slinky, it all speaks to the cause and effect, as well as Newton's Laws of physics regarding action and reaction.

Interesting, ilja! :comfort:
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BARman29, on Oct 31 2006, 09:05 AM, said:

You could also closely relate this to the 'slinky' model of relationships.
There you are, happily living your life, when there is a distrubance in the coils.
They shake, and vibrate, and move about, sometimes, oftentimes causing movement, slight, or great.
Then the other person actually gets involved, and there is much movement, and the coils expand and contract until you achieve some semblance of equilibrium or they go away, then the coils settle down and balance is achieved once again.

Sometimes your movement is because someone sent you down the steps.

Relationships as rubber band or slinky, it all speaks to the cause and effect, as well as Newton's Laws of physics regarding action and reaction.

Interesting, ilja! :redhot:

:popcorn: I like slinkies even better than rubber bands.

As for interesting, where is everybody? :comfort:
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I would reply with something deep and well thought out...buuuut


I have never had a romantic relationship with anyone...so I feel truly unqualified to voice an opinion.

I will say this though...the rarer something is..the bigger its impact good or bad...

and...


Everyone should learn how to dance.



:comfort:
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ilja, on Oct 31 2006, 10:24 AM, said:

As for interesting, where is everybody? :comfort:

Everyone's high on Halloween candy. :popcorn:

I'm hoping to come back later tonight or tomorrow to plumb the depths of this...:redhot:
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Quote

Haven't you ever noticed that it seems like the ones that you could care less if they are interested are the same ones that can't seem to get enough of you? Then doesn't it seem that the one that you find the most attractive is the one that doesn't come at your beck and call?


Or, (as I noticed) once you are solidly IN a relationship, you become more desirable to every guy you ever wondered 'hmmmm?' about. To be more specific, the DAY I got engaged I must have tripled in sex appeal--or somehow gave off this weird pheromone "i am hot" smell, that made me irresistable to men.

Man, if I'd have known that was going to happen I would have allowed myself to get engaged MUCH sooner, and talked him into a long long long engagement.

I mean, it was fun. I felt powerful and I liked it.
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mollywalk, on Oct 31 2006, 09:06 PM, said:

Or, (as I noticed) once you are solidly IN a relationship, you become more desirable to every guy you ever wondered 'hmmmm?' about. To be more specific, the DAY I got engaged I must have tripled in sex appeal--or somehow gave off this weird pheromone "i am hot" smell, that made me irresistable to men.

Man, if I'd have known that was going to happen I would have allowed myself to get engaged MUCH sooner, and talked him into a long long long engagement.

I mean, it was fun. I felt powerful and I liked it.

:popcorn: That is SO true. I still can't figure out how to have that kind of power in between guys that I have when I'm committed. It's like, hey what happened? :redhot:

Come to think of it, it reminds me of roaches when you turn on the lights. :comfort:
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Lorelei, on Oct 31 2006, 08:56 PM, said:

ilja, on Oct 31 2006, 10:24 AM, said:

As for interesting, where is everybody? :comfort:

Everyone's high on Halloween candy. :popcorn:

I'm hoping to come back later tonight or tomorrow to plumb the depths of this...:unsure:

Oh goodie. I was dying to hear what you thought about this theory. :redhot:
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Thanks, Ilja. Now if I could just figure out how long do I keep dancing.
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What are these "relationships" of which you speak?
Are they fresh or salt water vessels?
Sail or powered?
i am sooooo confused.
*sigh*
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It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

Also, being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?"

"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's definitely going to be a very cold winter." The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy."


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View Postspt, on 03 May 2011 - 05:32 PM, said:

I think maybe we should all go for a drink and ask for the new drink....it is called the Bin Laden...2 shots and a splash of water :drinkers: :drinkers:
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View PostBrian Fellow, on 15 December 2012 - 02:45 PM, said:

Sorry was busy reading a tweet from an adamant 'pro-choice' person about gun control and 'how many children have to die before we do something'?

Posted Image A perfect example of both irony and hypocrisy.

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John Mauldin relates the details of a conversation he had with John Boehner, the Speaker of the House of Representatives.

At the :50 Maudlin describes Boehner telling him that Obama has,
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View PostSonofThunder, on 26 February 2013 - 05:47 AM, said:

If that is true, why do we see Boehner continually backing down and rolling over while Obama stands firm and never compromises?

View PostGertie Keddle, on 26 February 2013 - 06:34 AM, said:

'Cause he's a Campfire Girl?
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NEVER FORGET!

Staff Sgt. Matt Maupin’s long road home ended Saturday in a blaze of yellow ribbons, the silent tribute of people who lined the roads, and the respect of thousands more who filed past his coffin at a public visitation . . . “If four people showed up, that’s OK with me,” said Keith Maupin, the soldier’s father, as he took a mid-afternoon break outside the Civic Center, where many came up to him to shake his hand or give him a hug . . . Matt Maupin became the face of the war in Iraq for thousands here and across the country in April 2004, when an Arab TV station aired a tape showing the Union Township soldier kneeling and surrounded by masked men carrying automatic rifles . . .Four years and millions of prayers later, a tip from an Iraqi citizen led U.S. soldiers to the farm area northwest of Baghdad where Matt Maupin’s remains were found on March 20 . . .Scoutmaster David Bacon said the boys of Troop 511 had been well aware of the story of Matt Maupin and wanted to pay their own tribute.“I’ve talked to them many times about Matt,” said Bacon, whose cousin, Lance Cpl. David Kreuter, was killed in Iraq in 2005. “They understand it was the sacrifice of young men like Matt that gives us the freedom to meet every Monday night. There are places in the world where Boy Scouting is not allowed.” Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePFC Keith Matthew MaupinCaptured in IraqApril 9, 2004

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Posted ImageNever Mind the Cost by c.m.steppe ©2001 There's a young man far from home, Called in time of war; Sent to defend our freedom On some distant foreign shore. On some distant foreign shore. We pray You keep him safe, We pray You keep him strong, We pray You send him safely home ... For he's been away so long. For he's been away so long. There's a young woman far from home, Serving U.S.A. with pride. Her every step is strong and sure, Courage in every stride. Courage in every stride. We pray You keep her safe, We pray You keep her strong, We pray You send her safely home ... For she's been away too long. For she's been away too long. Bless those who wait their safe return. Bless those who mourn the lost. Bless those who serve this country well, Never mind the cost. Never mind the cost. God, Bless America!

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I got this in an email today and though it doesn't say who wrote it, I don't doubt these things could have happened.'MEET ME IN THE STAIRWELL' You say you will never forget where you were when you heard the news On September 11, 2001. Neither will I. I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room with a man who called his wife to say 'Good-Bye.' I held his fingers steady as he dialed. I gave him the peace to say, 'Honey, I am not going to make it, but it is OK..I am ready to go.' I was with his wife when he called as she fed breakfast to their children. I held her up as she tried to understand his words and as she realized he wasn't coming home that night. I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a woman cried out to Me for help. 'I have been knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!' I said. 'Of course I will show you the way home - only believe in Me now.' I was at the base of the building with the Priest ministering to the injured and devastated souls. I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He heard my voice and answered. I was on all four of those planes, in every seat, with every prayer. I was with the crew as they were overtaken. I was in the very hearts of the believers there, comforting and assuring them that their faith has saved them. I was in Texas , Virginia , California , Michigan , Afghanistan ... I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news. Did you sense Me? I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew every name - though not all know Me. Some met Me for the first time on the 86th floor. Some sought Me with their last breath. Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the smoke and flames; 'Come to Me... this way... take my hand.' Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me. But, I was there. I did not place you in the Tower that day. You may not know why, but I do. However, if you were there in that explosive moment in time, would you have reached for Me? Sept. 11, 2001, was not the end of the journey for you. But someday your journey will end. And I will be there for you as well. Seek Me now while I may be found. Then, at any moment, you know you are 'ready to go.' I will be in the stairwell of your final moments. God Posted Image