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Gay Sex and My 6-Year-Old: A Teaching Moment [On Shutting My Mouth]

(MADGestic: Sensitive topic; reader discretion is advised)

Cached Source

By Lisa Brown
© 2010 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved

My husband, our 6-year-old son and I were walking around the Castro -- a neighborhood near our home in San Francisco -- early Sunday morning. Early morning because that's when the 6-year-old wakes us up. We landed at an all-night diner, because that's the only thing open in the Castro that early in the morning.

At the Castro's diner, our son can sit at the counter and chat up the servers because that's what he's good at. The neighborhood is famously gay, and locals tend to be tolerant folk, open to seeing heterosexual couples, and the results of their breeder inclinations, strolling freely down their streets.

My husband decided that today would be the day to have the "don't talk to strangers" conversation with the young lad. Whenever we come across something that we don't want our kid to do, like sticking his finger in a socket or playing in traffic, we say, "Looks dangerous," in a non-alarming way. After all, we wouldn't want to frighten our darling boy into submission, right? When it's something we want to encourage or something fairly innocuous, we say, "Looks like fun."

This morning, we were hoping to lend a nonchalant, "Looks dangerous" tone to child abduction.

Husband: "Suppose someone who you don't know asks you to get in his car. What would you do?"

Kid (pausing a brief moment): "What kind of car?"

[…]


(continue reading)


= = == == == == == = = = = === = = == == = == = = ==


This short article appeared on my almost-daily news search. Clearly the headline*** is sensationalistic, and thinking it was another fabricated “controversy” from the anti-gay brigade (AGB), I clicked through to see if it was a new “outrage” or one being recycled.

***- NOTE: Based upon the cached Google address, I added the parenthesized part to the title above; i.e.: [On Shutting My Mouth]

Much to my surprise, I instead found a well written, firsthand missive by a parent, descriptively and concisely sharing a personal “parenting moment” with skill and wit. I really felt like I was there, witnessing the events vicariously through her.

(I’m assuming that this was an actual event; but if it’s fiction… my estimate of Brown’s skill as an author would go up another notch.)

So I bookmarked the column but when I went back to read it again, I couldn’t find it. Doing various searches of the site and the net, I finally determined the proper keywords to bring up the Google cached version; which is why that is the version that linked above. Either my search skills are not very sophisticated, and/or… the article has been scrubbed from the site.


Why would it be removed? As I noted above, the headline is sensationalistic; but if you read the column, it’s not nearly as bad or graphic as the title suggests. A 6-yo found something on the ground that reasonable folks would prefer he not be exposed to… but hey, stuff happens. It could have been something like a squirrel run over by a truck, a bullet, a dime of weed, all sorts of things… (including graphic depictions of heterosexual activity, so this is not necessarily a “gay thing”).

I’m no expert but I would think this is part of parenting, and that every parent must deal with a series of these “moments” where the child’s learning curve might not adhere to the planned (or ideal) trajectory. (Note that this occurred on the day of the "don't talk to strangers" parental lesson.) This is, after all, a “parenting” website, presumably purposed to include sharing of experiences and perspectives amongst peers.

If the article was scrubbed, I suspect the reasons might be: One, the headline; and two, a 6-yo saying “looks like fun” while viewing an explicit sex act, even though to him that phrase is non-specific and rather innocuous. (Of course another reason might be that the AGB made so much noise that the website decided to remove their irritation.) Finally, Lisa Brown appears to be a somewhat outré author, and perhaps the website didn’t realize that when they first published this story.


After giving it much thought, even if they’ve tried to scrub it, I’ve decide to provide the article here; primarily because I think it represents good storytelling (it even has “a moral”), but also because it’s likely to be a catalyst for discussion.

So what do you think?...

A parental “narrow escape”?... one of those “WHEW!” moments?

A missed opportunity for education?... “When two people love one another…”

A missed opportunity for fear mongering? “If you do that it’ll fall off…”

Something else?... or just a good story?


:lol:
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6 Comments On This Entry

I read all that you posted, including your comments.
But I lost all interest when the crass bigotry of the phrase "results of their breeder inclinations" showed up.
When the overwhelmingly "normal" human sexual proclivity of heterosexual 'inclinations' are reduced to the term "breeder inclinations", the discussion is done. It speaks to a mind set that categorizes the true normal sexual behavior of humans as something crass and odd.
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Quote

My husband, our 6-year-old son and I were walking around the Castro -- a neighborhood near our home in San Francisco -- early Sunday morning. Early morning because that's when the 6-year-old wakes us up. We landed at an all-night diner, because that's the only thing open in the Castro that early in the morning.

At the Castro's diner, our son can sit at the counter and chat up the servers because that's what he's good at. The neighborhood is famously gay, and locals tend to be tolerant folk, open to seeing heterosexual couples, and the results of their breeder inclinations, strolling freely down their streets.


Geez, talk about understatements. To say that the Castro Neighborhood is famously gay is like saying King Kong was a very large monkey.

Quote

Something else?... or just a good story?


Something else... a felony count of exposing a minor to sexual activity.

Let's see if I got it correct: She doesn't live in the Castro but next to it. In the wee hours of a morning she takes the kid out of her own neighborhood and into the Castro (a deliberate action) where the kid gets an eyeful by seeing what's on a handbill or poster or whatever. She didn't expect this to happen ? Might as well take the kid to Mecca and expect him to not see islamic things happening.
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I'll pray for Mr. & Mrs. (Lisa) Brown's salvation and that God has mercy on that boy and has him COMPLETELY forget what he's now been contaminated with mentally and emotionally.

If the kid wakes up early - as all three of mine always have - why not make some coffee and partake of the joy of watching the sweet kid's mind at work playing in his room... or the yard... or the driveway... or just about ANYPLACE other than homo-central. Sheesh. What a place to take a small kid.
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Aunt Annie’s Alligator… A… A… A…






USNJIMRET, on Jul 18 2010, 02:04 PM, said:

I read all that you posted, including your comments.
But I lost all interest when the crass bigotry of the phrase "results of their breeder inclinations" showed up.
When the overwhelmingly "normal" human sexual proclivity of heterosexual 'inclinations' are reduced to the term "breeder inclinations", the discussion is done. It speaks to a mind set that categorizes the true normal sexual behavior of humans as something crass and odd.

I noticed that too but took it to be tongue-in-cheek. In a different context I might have taken offense by the inference that that is how all gay folks think of STR8 folks with kids. Since it was self-effacing I just read through… (she is after all talking about herself and her husband)… but I agree that that is a very crude (and pejorative) way to allude to the fecundity of one’s fellow human beings. If you’re going to call someone a “breeder” it should be prefaced with “dog” or “horse” or something similar… otherwise it’s just nasty.





Adam Smithee, on Jul 18 2010, 05:14 PM, said:

Geez, talk about understatements. To say that the Castro Neighborhood is famously gay is like saying King Kong was a very large monkey. […]

Yeah! But see, I think that’s part of the author’s style herein, wry and witty, even borderline satirical. She is inarguably being facetious, which is why I’m not taking the missive too seriously.

Quote

[…] Something else... a felony count of exposing a minor to sexual activity.

I’m pretty sure that a flyer in the gutter doesn’t qualify as “sexual activity”… and who would you charge?

Although I’m not a legal expert, I think that even if you determined who dropped it there, the most you could prosecute would be some kind of misdemeanor. I could see charging them with “distribution” (which, for a single flyer, would never stand up in court) and then cutting a deal for aggravated littering (or something like that). A fine, 6-months probation, and if you stay out of trouble then the case is continued without a finding.

Look, I readily agree that we don’t want children finding things like this in the street… heck, >>>I<<< don’t want to see that lying the street. But a stray flyer as a felony? I think that’s a bit of overkill. It’s not like someone literally handed it to the kid.

Quote

[…] Let's see if I got it correct: She doesn't live in the Castro but next to it. In the wee hours of a morning she takes the kid out of her own neighborhood and into the Castro (a deliberate action) where the kid gets an eyeful by seeing what's on a handbill or poster or whatever. She didn't expect this to happen ? Might as well take the kid to Mecca and expect him to not see islamic things happening.

Since the author noted that her son is a new reader and, during prior visits, he has found words upon which to practice:
[…] "Hot," "free," "boy" and "toy" are all good words to sound out.
… I’m pretty sure they knew what they were getting into. However it appears that the graphic image was the surprise… crossing over that big grey area betwixt “suggestive” and “explicit”. So she didn’t exactly say that: “She didn't expect this to happen”, nor does she seem to be complaining… it’s just one of those remarkable lifetime moments that entertainers have been sharing for millennia.

:rolleyes:




KenpoDude, on Jul 19 2010, 09:22 AM, said:

I'll pray for Mr. & Mrs. (Lisa) Brown's salvation and that God has mercy on that boy and has him COMPLETELY forget what he's now been contaminated with mentally and emotionally. […]

That is very kind and generous.

I am interested in knowing how well the Browns’ “soft” parenting style has protected their son from… I dunno… “trauma” in this incident. She/they seem to think that not launching into histrionics is the better approach to childrearing.

Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry
Momma's gonna make all of your nightmares come true
Momma's gonna put all of her fears into you
Momma's gonna keep you right here under her wing
She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing
Momma will keep Baby cozy and warm…


Quote

[…] If the kid wakes up early - as all three of mine always have - why not make some coffee and partake of the joy of watching the sweet kid's mind at work playing in his room... or the yard... or the driveway... or just about ANYPLACE other than homo-central. Sheesh. What a place to take a small kid.

What is your familiarity with the Castro? Aside from being driven through on the way to a restaurant about 15-years ago… (Look, there’s the Castro Theater!)… I have no firsthand experience. To claim such would be like professing intimate knowledge of the Statue of Liberty when one had only passed through Battery Park in a cab. Please, fill me in.
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MADGestic, on Jul 19 2010, 06:35 PM, said:

Hush now baby, baby, don't you cry
Momma's gonna make all of your nightmares come true
Momma's gonna put all of her fears into you
Momma's gonna keep you right here under her wing
She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing
Momma will keep Baby cozy and warm…



What is your familiarity with the Castro? Aside from being driven through on the way to a restaurant about 15-years ago… (Look, there’s the Castro Theater!)… I have no firsthand experience. To claim such would be like professing intimate knowledge of the Statue of Liberty when one had only passed through Battery Park in a cab. Please, fill me in.

Ahhh, Pink Floyd. Yes.

My only familiarity with "The Castro" is what's in the article by the author:

"At the Castro's diner, our son can sit at the counter and chat up the servers because that's what he's good at. The neighborhood is famously gay, and locals tend to be tolerant folk, open to seeing heterosexual couples, and the results of their breeder inclinations, strolling freely down their streets."

That's plenty enough for me to feel o.k. about calling it "homo-central." If it's really not, then perhaps chickie should not have described it quite as she did. Among other inferences I can make, "...open to seeing heterosexual couples,..." definitely implies that other-than-hetero is the norm.
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Guest, on Jul 20 2010, 09:07 AM, said:

When my oldest son was 10, not being aware that there was such a thing as same-sex attraction, saw a couple of men holding hands and kissing. It was hilarious to watch his reaction. A full body shudder and an very audible, "Grooooosssss!", followed by about 15 minutes of jumping around and shaking himself off as if he had been pee'd on. As a matter of fact, my two younger boys reacted similarly at about the same age.

I never had to say anything about gays. They made up their own minds when the matter presented itself.

Hah! That’s cute! :D

Ummm… how did they react at that age when they saw men and women smooching?

Just asking. ;)





KenpoDude, on Jul 20 2010, 01:25 PM, said:

[…] Ahhh, Pink Floyd. Yes.

My only familiarity with "The Castro" is what's in the article by the author:

"At the Castro's diner, our son can sit at the counter and chat up the servers because that's what he's good at. The neighborhood is famously gay, and locals tend to be tolerant folk, open to seeing heterosexual couples, and the results of their breeder inclinations, strolling freely down their streets."

That's plenty enough for me to feel o.k. about calling it "homo-central." If it's really not, then perhaps chickie should not have described it quite as she did. Among other inferences I can make, "...open to seeing heterosexual couples,..." definitely implies that other-than-hetero is the norm.

Really? You knew nothing about the Castro until you read this story? Man, at least I knew enough to look out the car window when someone said: “Look, there’s the Castro Theater!” Wasn’t sure what it meant but I knew that it was some kind of POI (Point of Interest).

And I’m not necessarily arguing with you; it might very well be “homo central”… (it’s certainly historic in that regard)… although I suspect that that descriptor is based upon decades-old stereotypes; sort of like saying that Haight-Ashbury is “hippy central” with a concomitant implication that anyone that ever even [smelled] a joint, wore a tie-dyed tee-shirt or bellbottom jeans, or marveled at a black light velvet poster, just naturally gravitated there in order to make a life for themselves. See?... it’s kinda silly like that…

Brief Tangent: Castro Real Estate… hmmm… maybe there’s something to this “gay thing” after all. ;)


Well, as I said, I think the author was being facetious; perhaps going for a 21st-century Erma Bombeck kind of thing: The Grass is Always Greener in the Marina District… something like that. Perhaps more importantly… even IF the Castro is “homo-central”… is that comment hidden in plain sight:

The neighborhood is famously gay, and locals tend to be tolerant folk

Think what you will; but of all the hundreds(+) of gay folks that I have met over the last several decades, I can remember but a handful that ever used the term “breeder” at all; and only one or two that intended it to be disparaging. If anything, the culture is clearly trending toward gay families raising children of their own… (about a bazillion examples available)… which shoots the whole “’traditional’ family values” arguments full of holes.

Based on the missive, the author’s son seems to be a serious thinking young man… which is more than I can say for the top-level public face of the anti-gay brigade (AGB). When unexpectedly presented with something puzzling, at least this kid tried to think it through for himself.


“Norm” is a grandly subjective term; yet it’s inclusive of “other-than-hetero”… well, except for elitists.


:D
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