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Hitman hires hitman who hires hitman who hires hitman who hires hitman Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is offline   MTP Reggie 

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Posted 28 October 2019 - 09:21 AM

Hitman hires hitman who hires hitman who hires hitman who hires hitman who tells police Basit Mahmood
Wednesday 23 Oct 2019 4:28 pm
Metro.co.uk

<More NOT The Babylon Bee Here>

Five hitmen have been jailed for attempted murder after each one avoided carrying out the contract themselves so they could make a profit.

Chinese businessman Tan Youhui was looking for a hitman to take out a competitor, Wei Mou, and was willing to pay 2 million yuan (£218,000) to get the job done. The hitman that Mr Youhui hired decided to offer the job to another hitman for half the original price. The second hitman then subcontracted to another hitman, who then subcontracted to a fourth, who gave the job to a fifth. However, hitman number five was so incensed at how much the value of the contract had fallen, that he told the target to fake his own death, which eventually led to the police finding out about the plot, Beijing News reported.

The businessman and the hapless assassins were all convicted of attempted murder by the court in Nanning, Guangxi, following a trial that lasted three years.

(snip)

<More NOT The Babylon Bee Here>
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#2 User is offline   erp 

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Posted 28 October 2019 - 12:24 PM

I see a screenplay in the works. Maybe I should hire someone to write it, who will then someone else to write it, who will then...


;)
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#3 User is offline   stick 

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Posted 28 October 2019 - 04:17 PM

I've heard of outsourcing jobs to China but this is ridiculous.

Just goes to show, there's always someone (then another, then another...) willing to do it for less in China.
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#4 User is offline   erp 

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Posted 28 October 2019 - 05:34 PM

We’re these hit men found on eBay?
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#5 User is offline   gravelrash 

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Posted 28 October 2019 - 05:47 PM

View Posterp, on 28 October 2019 - 12:24 PM, said:

I see a screenplay in the works. Maybe I should hire someone to write it, who will then someone else to write it, who will then...


;)


How do you say "Damn good television" in Chinese?

I'm more surprised that the trial took three years. The ChiComs tend to use the two-step judicial process: Accusation then Execution.

Now I have R.E.M.'s "Seven Chinese Brothers" in my head.
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#6 User is online   Dean Adam Smithee 

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Posted 28 October 2019 - 09:32 PM

View Posterp, on 28 October 2019 - 05:34 PM, said:

We’re these hit men found on eBay?


Craigslist.
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#7 User is offline   De Oppresso Liber 

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Posted 28 October 2019 - 11:19 PM

Clinton Pyramid Scheme
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#8 User is offline   Ticked@TinselTown 

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Posted 29 October 2019 - 12:02 AM

View Posterp, on 28 October 2019 - 12:24 PM, said:

I see a screenplay in the works. Maybe I should hire someone to write it, who will then someone else to write it, who will then...


;)


Pain and Gain II
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#9 User is offline   Severian 

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Posted 29 October 2019 - 10:37 AM

View PostDean Adam Smithee, on 28 October 2019 - 09:32 PM, said:

Craigslist.

Craigsrist... :whistling:
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#10 User is offline   MTP Reggie 

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Posted 29 October 2019 - 10:50 AM

View PostSeverian, on 29 October 2019 - 10:37 AM, said:

Craigsrist... :whistling:


http://freebeacon.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/thats-racist.gif





This post has been edited by MTP Reggie: 29 October 2019 - 10:51 AM

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#11 User is offline   Severian 

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Posted 29 October 2019 - 11:38 AM

Love engrish.com, it's hysterical.

Old WWII joke, choose passwords with lots of L's in them.

Hey Joe, don't shoot.

Say parallel...

Pararrel...

Bang bang bang bang bang...

This post has been edited by Severian: 29 October 2019 - 11:39 AM

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#12 User is online   Dean Adam Smithee 

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Posted 29 October 2019 - 09:47 PM

Guy walks into a Japanese bar and says, "Give me a Stoli with a twist". Bartender thinks about it for a moment and says, "Once upon a time there were these FOUR little pigs..."
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#13 User is online   Dean Adam Smithee 

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Posted 29 October 2019 - 09:56 PM

TRUE STORY: Of Moravian background, L's don't come naturally. I was probably 7 or 8 YO before I could say "Uncle Larry" rather than "Uncle Warry". LOL.
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#14 User is offline   ASE 

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Posted 31 October 2019 - 01:09 PM

That's how the purveyors of 'arkancide' do it; it adds layers upon layers of anonymity to protect the actual source of the 'hit'. You get a hit-man, then have a hit-man take out that hit-man, and then add another one for added security.
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#15 User is offline   Severian 

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Posted 31 October 2019 - 02:10 PM

I suppose you're supposed to kill me.

No, I kill the bus driver.

Bus driver?

Crash.
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