RightNation.US
News (Home) | Righters' Blog | Hollywood Halfwits | Our Store | New User Intro | Link to us | Support Us

RightNation.US: March 22nd, the day my life changed forever - RightNation.US

Jump to content

-----
Every year on March 22nd for the last 21 years, I am reminded how my life has changed forever. That was the day that my mother passed away.

While time does help, it does not heal all wounds. Yes, it gets easier to deal with but that does not mean you get over it. There is no such thing as closure. Instead you simply learn how to live without the one person that you knew without a shadow of a doubt would love you no matter what.

I know it would be worse to lose a child and this is not meant to diminish that or any other pain. This is simply meant as my thoughts on losing a mother. There really is not anything like a mother, to me anyhow.

My mother had cancer that slowly took her life over one and a half years. Yet, she was convinced that God would heal her up until the very end. She was bed-ridden during most of that time but thankfully, we were able to take care of her for the most part at home.

It was really hard to do so but it was worth it. I am quite grateful that I was there with her, on the day that she left us to go home to her Father. I'll never forget what the hospice nurse (whose name just happened to be Grace) said when Mama passed away. She said that she's gone to a better place. And that I do know. I have no doubts. I so look forward to seeing her and my father again.

She did suffer but she never once asked us to end her suffering. She would even cry out when we had to turn her over to take care of her needs but she told us to just ignore her cries. I don't think the thought even occurred to her that she would want anyone to take her life to end her pain. Dying was just a part of life and though my mother did not want to die and still hoped for a miracle, she never lost her faith.

She did tell us about one of her dreams once during that time. She said that she dreamed that she died and when she did, a piece of each of us six daughters died with her. To this day, I believe that is exactly what happened.

Don't get me wrong. We don't sit around crying every day for what we've lost. We live our lives to the best of our ability. It's just that no matter what age we each were when she died, we all felt a little like an orphan. Then of course, when our father died four years later, we felt like complete orphans. I know that sounds weird for grown women to feel that way, but we did.

I can let myself cry over her quite easily but most of the time, I simply choose not to do so. There was a point, probably about a year or longer after she died when I used to cry a lot but my son who was fairly young at the time, drew me a funny picture that got the message across that I could not bring her back.

My baby sister and I used to talk about how we wish life were like soap operas where people come back from the dead all the time. But then I remembered the movie "Pet Sematary" and I gave up that thought.

My oldest and sweetest sister dreams about both of my parents all the time and I wish I did. It's almost like she gets to visit with them. Unfortunately, the only dreams I remember are really strange and if by chance one of my parents show up in them, it's not usually a happy dream that I want to remember anyhow.

I just realized that most of this blog is about me. I think I've used more I's than an Obama State of the Union speech so I'm going to say a little about Mama.

She was old school. She was raised at a time when a mother and wife's job was all about the home. She did not work outside the home, although she wanted to, but us selfish kids wanted her home even when we weren't there. She waited on my dad hand and foot. Between her hostess skills and my dad's gregariousness, they had visitors all the time.

I used to love to go over to their house because there would be no telling who might show up. It was a blast. Then I could just leave when I was ready and Mama was left there to clean up the mess. Man, I was so thoughtless at times.

I think what I miss the most is simply calling her. I used to call her most every day even if I did not have anything to say. That's probably why I call my son most days. I just want him to know I'm here if he needs me.

Speaking of needing, I have not lost my need for my mother. She was a very wise woman even though she wasn't Latino and had more common sense in her pinkie than most folks have in their whole body. She always knew what was the right thing to do and did not mind sharing that with her daughters.

There was a time when that bothered me. Now I just wish she were here to straighten me out. She would tell it like it is and not hold back. I tell you I did not get any of my BSing skills from my mother because she did not BS with us daughters.

Don't get me wrong. She was not mean but she was most definitely no phony. And the greatest compliment she could give anybody was to say they were 'down to earth'.

While I've talked on these boards quite often about something my dad did back in the day and am proud to have some of his qualities, if I could just leave a love for my son as fierce as my mother had for us daughters, I will be able to die knowing I met my purpose here.

I know I've written about some of this before but since it's my blog and I'm getting older, I'll repeat if I want to. :lol:

What about you? Is your mother still alive? Did you have a special mom or other person in your life who loved you unconditionally?

Elusively hers,
ija
0
  Like

14 Comments On This Entry

"What about you? Is your mother still alive?"

Yes she is, but she's definitely getting on in years (aren't we all?) I dread the day she passes on, but I know it's just a matter of time.

:(
0
My thoughts and prayers to you. My mom is still alive and well but is on so much medication (coumadin to name one). I keep an updated list of what she takes and how much. My mom is 71 and is realatively healthy with the exception for a sticky heart valve. She is getting on in age and I have never had anyone close to me pass away and dread the day it happens. Not so much for me but for my daughter. My daughter Hunter worships the ground she walks on. Her "Nonna". She is not here now but in Florida (my parents are snow birds) and I cannot wait until she comes back. Sometime around end of April/beginning of May.

"She was old school. She was raised at a time when a mother and wife's job was all about the home. She did not work outside the home, although she wanted to, but us selfish kids wanted her home even when we weren't there. She waited on my dad hand and foot. Between her hostess skills and my dad's gregariousness, they had visitors all the time.

I used to love to go over to their house because there would be no telling who might show up. It was a blast."

Sounds a lot like my mom and the house I grew up in too. My daughter tells me, "Momma you are the best momma". I tell her I am your "only Mama" and how true that is when we think of our moms.

May your memoris of your mother be bountiful and close in your heart.

God Bless,

Yvonne
0
My folks are getting up there in age. My dad just retired about this time last year. Almost as soon as he retired, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He had surgery a few months ago and is still recovering.

It's hard to deal with, but they raised us to know it's part of life. I don't look forward to saying good bye to them, but we all know where we're going. It'll only be a temporary parting.
0
My mother died when I was 27 years old after suffering emphysema. For the last 6 months of her life, my brother had to sit with her and pump the phlegm out of her diseased lungs so she wouldn't drown in it.

Like most smokers of the 70's, she drove us kids around in the station wagon smoking with the windows rolled up. I now suffer from a respiratory illness.
0
I lost my mother on Jan 3, 2009, just six months after my father succumbed to his sickness. My mother lasted just over two years after she lost her second husband.
I understand your grief. Mrs. BARman struggles every March, the month she lost he mom back in 2006.
God bless, Ilja.
0

MontyPython, on 22 March 2012 - 07:42 PM, said:

"What about you? Is your mother still alive?"Yes she is, but she's definitely getting on in years (aren't we all?) I dread the day she passes on, but I know it's just a matter of time. :(

I've heard you talk about your mom and she sounds wonderful. Of course, as I've said before, I pretty much knew that already by the son she raised.

Yeah, we are all getting old. Ever since my cousin's husband (who was younger than me) died unexpectedly a few weeks ago, I've been thinking about how it's my sisters and myself who are next in line. At least I hope we go before any of our kids.
0

NY State of Mind, on 22 March 2012 - 08:19 PM, said:

My thoughts and prayers to you. My mom is still alive and well but is on so much medication (coumadin to name one). I keep an updated list of what she takes and how much. My mom is 71 and is realatively healthy with the exception for a sticky heart valve. She is getting on in age and I have never had anyone close to me pass away and dread the day it happens. Not so much for me but for my daughter. My daughter Hunter worships the ground she walks on. Her "Nonna". She is not here now but in Florida (my parents are snow birds) and I cannot wait until she comes back. Sometime around end of April/beginning of May."She was old school. She was raised at a time when a mother and wife's job was all about the home. She did not work outside the home, although she wanted to, but us selfish kids wanted her home even when we weren't there. She waited on my dad hand and foot. Between her hostess skills and my dad's gregariousness, they had visitors all the time. I used to love to go over to their house because there would be no telling who might show up. It was a blast."Sounds a lot like my mom and the house I grew up in too. My daughter tells me, "Momma you are the best momma". I tell her I am your "only Mama" and how true that is when we think of our moms.May your memoris of your mother be bountiful and close in your heart.God Bless,Yvonne

Thank you for responding, Yvonne. I'm so glad you keep up with your mom's medicine. It get's pretty hard when folks get older with all that they have to take.

I love how your daughter feels about her Nonna. She is so blessed to have the chance to get to know her. I'm sure she will always remember her if she loves her this much.

Your mom does sound wonderful. What a great generation both of our mothers came from. I think we have both been truly blessed.

Thanks for your response. :hug:
0

Mr. Naron, on 22 March 2012 - 10:13 PM, said:

My folks are getting up there in age. My dad just retired about this time last year. Almost as soon as he retired, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He had surgery a few months ago and is still recovering.It's hard to deal with, but they raised us to know it's part of life. I don't look forward to saying good bye to them, but we all know where we're going. It'll only be a temporary parting.


How true. I say it over and over again how much I look forward to that great big familiy reunion in the sky. I know I've said it here before. :giggle:

I'm sorry about your dad's health. I will say a prayer for him that he recovers completely.

I feel about your folks the same way I do about Monty's mom. They must be pretty dang good folks if they raised you. :)
0

Whitey, on 23 March 2012 - 12:29 AM, said:

My mother died when I was 27 years old after suffering emphysema. For the last 6 months of her life, my brother had to sit with her and pump the phlegm out of her diseased lungs so she wouldn't drown in it.Like most smokers of the 70's, she drove us kids around in the station wagon smoking with the windows rolled up. I now suffer from a respiratory illness.

I'm so sorry you lost your mother way too young. I'm also sorry you have health problems.

Thanks for responding, Whitey. :)
0

BARman29, on 23 March 2012 - 07:20 PM, said:

I lost my mother on Jan 3, 2009, just six months after my father succumbed to his sickness. My mother lasted just over two years after she lost her second husband. I understand your grief. Mrs. BARman struggles every March, the month she lost he mom back in 2006.God bless, Ilja.

2006 and 2009 are not that long ago. Please give your wife a hug for me and let her know she's not alone in her grief, especially this month.

I'm sorry for your losses too, Barman. God bless you, my friend.
0
My father and mother passed exactly six weeks apart in 2009. We were not and are not the closest family in the world, but even still, it is a very hard thing to deal with. I think about them every day, they still show up in my dreams, it is something you never get over. You move on with your life, but it is always with you. Ilja, I am sorry for your loss.
0

Hieronymous, on 25 March 2012 - 12:58 PM, said:

My father and mother passed exactly six weeks apart in 2009. We were not and are not the closest family in the world, but even still, it is a very hard thing to deal with. I think about them every day, they still show up in my dreams, it is something you never get over. You move on with your life, but it is always with you. Ilja, I am sorry for your loss.


Wow, that is way too much to handle that close together. I'm sorry for your losses too, Hieronymous. I was no where near where I am now 3 years after losing each of my parents. :hug:
0
I'm so sorry for your loss, Ilja, and for others that have commented on their losses.

I can't imagine. I still have both my parents and know I am very lucky. They were gracious enough to let me and my menagerie live w/ them when my house burned. I don't know what I would have done w/o them. Now that I'm moved out, I really miss living w/ them. I miss my mom and I having our American Idol night and talking about what shows we got each other addicted to. I miss playing,"Where did the container of Chinese rice go?" with my dad. I started that one. I have this joke w/ him about recycling rice. He would save rice and add it to more rice or add different meats / veggies to it in this crock pot. So, we would get Chinese food and one day, I hid the container with the Chinese take out food rice in his closet. I found it the next day in my work computer bag. I hid it in his computer room. I found it in my clean clothes. I hid it in his shoes, I found it in my purse. Then we both decided to hide it in my mom's room. We found it back in the fridge. It got to be this thing to hide the Chinese rice container. I cleaned for them and paid rent. It was nice to come home and have someone to talk to. I can't imagine my life without them. They have done so much for me and my sisters and we all have such great relationships. I just can't fathom loosing them.
0

Dublin5, on 25 April 2012 - 12:28 AM, said:

I'm so sorry for your loss, Ilja, and for others that have commented on their losses.I can't imagine. I still have both my parents and know I am very lucky. They were gracious enough to let me and my menagerie live w/ them when my house burned. I don't know what I would have done w/o them. Now that I'm moved out, I really miss living w/ them. I miss my mom and I having our American Idol night and talking about what shows we got each other addicted to. I miss playing,"Where did the container of Chinese rice go?" with my dad. I started that one. I have this joke w/ him about recycling rice. He would save rice and add it to more rice or add different meats / veggies to it in this crock pot. So, we would get Chinese food and one day, I hid the container with the Chinese take out food rice in his closet. I found it the next day in my work computer bag. I hid it in his computer room. I found it in my clean clothes. I hid it in his shoes, I found it in my purse. Then we both decided to hide it in my mom's room. We found it back in the fridge. It got to be this thing to hide the Chinese rice container. I cleaned for them and paid rent. It was nice to come home and have someone to talk to. I can't imagine my life without them. They have done so much for me and my sisters and we all have such great relationships. I just can't fathom loosing them.

Oh Dub, I love your parent stories. Thanks for sharing them. I can't imagine finding rice in my purse. :lol:
0
Page 1 of 1

ilja's Corny Corner

A Doctor, A Lawyer, A Little Boy And A Priest
A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and then he bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining. The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live." He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."

link

2 user(s) viewing

2 Guests
0 member(s)
0 anonymous member(s)

ilja's Favorite RightNation Quotes

View Postspt, on 03 May 2011 - 05:32 PM, said:

I think maybe we should all go for a drink and ask for the new drink....it is called the Bin Laden...2 shots and a splash of water :drinkers: :drinkers:
http://i147.photobuc.../lmaosmiley.gif

View PostBrian Fellow, on 15 December 2012 - 02:45 PM, said:

Sorry was busy reading a tweet from an adamant 'pro-choice' person about gun control and 'how many children have to die before we do something'?

http://i147.photobuc...%202/anj_up.gif A perfect example of both irony and hypocrisy.

Quote

John Mauldin relates the details of a conversation he had with John Boehner, the Speaker of the House of Representatives.

At the :50 Maudlin describes Boehner telling him that Obama has,
“…balls made out of marshmallows…”

View PostSonofThunder, on 26 February 2013 - 05:47 AM, said:

If that is true, why do we see Boehner continually backing down and rolling over while Obama stands firm and never compromises?

View PostGertie Keddle, on 26 February 2013 - 06:34 AM, said:

'Cause he's a Campfire Girl?
http://i147.photobuc...06/kneeslap.gif

NEVER FORGET!

Staff Sgt. Matt Maupin’s long road home ended Saturday in a blaze of yellow ribbons, the silent tribute of people who lined the roads, and the respect of thousands more who filed past his coffin at a public visitation . . . “If four people showed up, that’s OK with me,” said Keith Maupin, the soldier’s father, as he took a mid-afternoon break outside the Civic Center, where many came up to him to shake his hand or give him a hug . . . Matt Maupin became the face of the war in Iraq for thousands here and across the country in April 2004, when an Arab TV station aired a tape showing the Union Township soldier kneeling and surrounded by masked men carrying automatic rifles . . .Four years and millions of prayers later, a tip from an Iraqi citizen led U.S. soldiers to the farm area northwest of Baghdad where Matt Maupin’s remains were found on March 20 . . .Scoutmaster David Bacon said the boys of Troop 511 had been well aware of the story of Matt Maupin and wanted to pay their own tribute.“I’ve talked to them many times about Matt,” said Bacon, whose cousin, Lance Cpl. David Kreuter, was killed in Iraq in 2005. “They understand it was the sacrifice of young men like Matt that gives us the freedom to meet every Monday night. There are places in the world where Boy Scouting is not allowed.” http://i147.photobuc.../3yqo3h0.gifPFC Keith Matthew MaupinCaptured in IraqApril 9, 2004

We Owe Them So Much

http://i147.photobuc.../troopsspin.gifNever Mind the Cost by c.m.steppe ©2001 There's a young man far from home, Called in time of war; Sent to defend our freedom On some distant foreign shore. On some distant foreign shore. We pray You keep him safe, We pray You keep him strong, We pray You send him safely home ... For he's been away so long. For he's been away so long. There's a young woman far from home, Serving U.S.A. with pride. Her every step is strong and sure, Courage in every stride. Courage in every stride. We pray You keep her safe, We pray You keep her strong, We pray You send her safely home ... For she's been away too long. For she's been away too long. Bless those who wait their safe return. Bless those who mourn the lost. Bless those who serve this country well, Never mind the cost. Never mind the cost. God, Bless America!

Recent Entries

Disclaimer

Search My Blog

An Email From God?

I got this in an email today and though it doesn't say who wrote it, I don't doubt these things could have happened.'MEET ME IN THE STAIRWELL' You say you will never forget where you were when you heard the news On September 11, 2001. Neither will I. I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room with a man who called his wife to say 'Good-Bye.' I held his fingers steady as he dialed. I gave him the peace to say, 'Honey, I am not going to make it, but it is OK..I am ready to go.' I was with his wife when he called as she fed breakfast to their children. I held her up as she tried to understand his words and as she realized he wasn't coming home that night. I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a woman cried out to Me for help. 'I have been knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!' I said. 'Of course I will show you the way home - only believe in Me now.' I was at the base of the building with the Priest ministering to the injured and devastated souls. I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He heard my voice and answered. I was on all four of those planes, in every seat, with every prayer. I was with the crew as they were overtaken. I was in the very hearts of the believers there, comforting and assuring them that their faith has saved them. I was in Texas , Virginia , California , Michigan , Afghanistan ... I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news. Did you sense Me? I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew every name - though not all know Me. Some met Me for the first time on the 86th floor. Some sought Me with their last breath. Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the smoke and flames; 'Come to Me... this way... take my hand.' Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me. But, I was there. I did not place you in the Tower that day. You may not know why, but I do. However, if you were there in that explosive moment in time, would you have reached for Me? Sept. 11, 2001, was not the end of the journey for you. But someday your journey will end. And I will be there for you as well. Seek Me now while I may be found. Then, at any moment, you know you are 'ready to go.' I will be in the stairwell of your final moments. God http://i147.photobuc...3/knowjesus.gif