[USNRETWIFE]

I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! HERE IS MY PLATFORM:


Press 1 for English is immediately banned. English is the official language, speak it or wait at the border until you can.

We will immediately go into a two-year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart' policy, "If we don't have it, you don't need it. (By the way, Wal-Mart will be out of business about a month after my Inauguration, or however long it takes to clear their shelves of all the stuff they import from China, Japan and India)

When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on all items.

All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put anything in, you won't get anything out. The Congress will not be able to touch it.

Welfare checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week only to those that successfully complete their urinalysis and attain a passing grade.

Professional Athletes/Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive/banned for life.

All Drugs will be legalized, controlled, taxed and sold by the Government. The monies collected will be used to bury all the stupid individuals that use them to excess and to transfer all personnel currently losing the "War On Drugs" to local Police Forces. The resultant decrease in crime will allow those Police Forces to concentrate on making our Cities safer places to live and raise our Families

One export will be allowed, Grain, The world needs to eat. A bushel of Grain will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

All Foreign Aid will immediately cease, and the money saved will go to pay off the National Debt, which will ultimately lower personal Income Taxes.

When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make their own decision as to whether or not it's a worthy cause.

The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.

The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.



You will note that my Platform has exactly 13 'Planks', the same as the number of States that banded together to form this country 232 years ago. I'm NOT sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you better than what you have, and better than what you will get voting for the other two guys.


Thanks for listening, and remember to write in my name on the ballot in November.

God bless America!


Who wants to be my VP ???

[Lyndsey]

ME!!! Can I legalize prostitution and drill for lots and lots and lots of oil too?

[Scuba Steve]

If drugs are legalized why punish athletes for using them? Those two seem to contradict each other.

Your stance on welfare isn't tough enough. People on welfare shouldn't be allowed to vote.

I think you need a stance against the ridiculous regulations this so-called capitalist society has that forces outsourcing to be the only viable means of survival for many businesses.

I think tying the price of grain to the price of oil is a good idea, but it may become a reality with this ethanol nonsense!