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We Would Like To State For The Record That Hillary Clinton Is An Upstanding Citizen Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is offline   MTP Reggie 

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Posted 12 August 2019 - 05:03 PM

We Would Like To State For The Record That Hillary Clinton Is An Upstanding Citizen And A Fine Human Being
August 12th, 2019
Babylon Bee

<More CYA Here>

A note from the editorial board at The Babylon Bee:

A number of people have questioned our love for Hillary Clinton based on some satirical pieces published on our site recently.

We would like to clear things up by saying that Hillary Clinton is an upstanding citizen and a very fine human being. She is of excellent character. She would never hurt anyone. The people who wrote those jokes, headlines, and pieces that seemed to criticize Hillary have been dealt with.

Some conspiracy theories have been going around about the Clintons, and we think that's just despicable. Deplorable, really. From Bill's time in the White House all the way through Hillary's spotless record as Secretary of State, the Clintons have served this country with honor and not a hint of scandal. For people to suggest they are so powerful and sinister to kill those who might expose some non-existent "wrongdoings" in their past is treason, really.

We just want to make certain that it's clear how much we respect, love, and honor the Clintons. Honestly, they're our favorite politicians of all the politicians, way better than that Trump guy. It's a real shame Hillary didn't win. She's our president.

Above all, we want to make sure Hillary does not question our loyalty to her and the whole Clinton family. We have nothing bad to say about her. Also, just to be clear, we have no dirt or inside information on her whatsoever and nothing would be gained by our untimely deaths.

(snip)

<More CYA Here>
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#2 User is offline   gravelrash 

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Posted 12 August 2019 - 05:09 PM

:laugh:
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#3 User is offline   MontyPython 

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Posted 12 August 2019 - 06:15 PM

:lol3:

:unsure:
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#4 User is offline   Dean Adam Smithee 

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Posted 12 August 2019 - 07:48 PM

:welldone: :thumbsup:


THAT SAID, I've never bought into the "conspiracy theories" regarding the "Clinton Body Count"

I mean, it's a body count that would make a mafia hitman proud.

But? C'mon, let's get real... The Clintons just aren't that "competent". Bill "got lucky" by happenstance and the anti-GHWB zeitgeist of the era in '92 and rode it again in '96. Likewise Hillary as NY Senator. Then played it for what it's worth to get into Odumbo administration, which wasn't exactly a very high bar.

But? C'mon, let's get real... These people couldn't even keep a server in Hillary's bathroom "secure". These fumblebucks couldn't even take Wisconsin - a "gimme" state in '16 - for chrissakes.

And, yet? The Clintons have been able to pull off HOW MANY murders in the past 30-40 years scot-free? Nah, that dog just don't hunt.
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#5 User is offline   Howsithangin 

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Posted 12 August 2019 - 09:26 PM

:biglaugh:
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