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'Why Don't We Just Give Everything Away For Free?' Six-Year-Old Surges To Top Of Democratic Polls Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is offline   MTP Reggie 

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Posted 13 August 2019 - 02:12 PM

Six-Year-Old Saying, 'Why Don't We Just Give Everything Away For Free?' Surges To Top Of Democratic Polls
August 13th, 2019
Babylon Bee

<More Satire? Here>

U.S.A new candidate has come out of nowhere to surge in the polls in the Democratic primary, and she's only six years old. Susie Peters of Minneapolis, Minnesota, was on a local news segment where children gave their opinions on world problems, and she asked, "Why can't we just give everyone everything they want for free?" The message quickly went viral and really resonated with Democratic voters, propelling Susie from unknown to third in most polls, ahead of Bernie Sanders and just behind Elizabeth Warren and Joe Biden.

"She really has a plan for everything," said Melinda Carlson, one of Susie's enthusiastic supporters. "While Elizabeth Warren only has a plan for getting people free health care and free college, Susie has a plan to get everyone free everything. She's truly a visionary."

Her new candidacy has upset some of the other candidates, with Bernie Sanders accusing Susie of stealing all his ideas. Others say the math in her plans doesn't add up, to which Susie says she doesn't like math and instead likes "Twilight Sparkle." And President Trump has taken notice, vowing to trounce Susie in the general since Trump himself can "read and write at the level of an eight-year-old." There are also concerns Susie may be gaffe-prone like Joe Biden, as one day at school Susie referred to her teacher as "Mommy" by mistake, prompting a round of laughter from her classmates.

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<More Satire? Here>
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#2 User is offline   Tikk 

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Posted 13 August 2019 - 02:21 PM

:lol:

"But I want it!" should definitely gain traction in the Democratic primaries.

And quite honestly, a six year old girl should be able to hold her own in the debates.
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#3 User is offline   Ben Cranklin 

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Posted 13 August 2019 - 02:26 PM

Let's hope no one tells the Dems till right before the general election that Susie needs to be at least 35 to be able to hold the office. Without that help, they probably won't know the Constitution enough on their own knowledge of it.
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#4 User is offline   firecoco 

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Posted 13 August 2019 - 02:45 PM

Lets see if snopes fact checks this story
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