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Americans Run Screaming In Terror As Congress Returns To Work Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is offline   grimreefer 

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Posted 11 September 2019 - 02:21 AM

Quote

Americans Run Screaming In Terror As Congress Returns To Work [Klavan]

The Daily Wire
By Andrew Klavan
September 10, 2019

The following is satirical.

excerpt:

Congress is back in session and ready to take on the number one crisis facing America, namely that Congress is back in session. The lawmakers return to Washington facing a full agenda, including financing the government so they can get money to pay for Congress so they can finance the government so they can get money to pay for Congress so they can finance the government.

D.C. residents welcomed the legislature back by running away from the capitol building in a panicked mob, clutching their wallets and screaming as if Godzilla was chasing them. When they found out Godzilla actually was chasing them, they calmed down and said, "That's a relief. We thought it was Congress."

On the House side, Democrat Jerry Nadler said he had enjoyed a lazy summer just wasting time and spending money by way of practicing for his return to government work. Nadler's list of things to do includes threatening to impeach President Trump, threatening to investigate President Trump, threatening to investigate impeaching President Trump and subpoenaing the last few Americans he hasn't interrogated yet including the scary clown from the Stephen King movie and the guy who runs the Dairy Queen in Aspinwall, Pennsylvania, a suburb of Pittsburgh.

<SNIP>


LINK

:yes: :D
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#2 User is offline   moocow 

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Posted 11 September 2019 - 02:33 AM

"Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it." - Cullen Hightower
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#3 User is offline   Howsithangin 

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Posted 11 September 2019 - 03:19 AM

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

It is the foreign element that commits our crimes. There is no native criminal class except Congress.

Mark Twain,

This post has been edited by Howsithangin: 11 September 2019 - 03:20 AM

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#4 User is offline   MontyPython 

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Posted 11 September 2019 - 10:28 AM

"Congress consists of one-third, more or less, scoundrels; two-thirds, more or less, idiots; and three-thirds, more or less, poltroons."

H. L. Mencken
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#5 User is offline   Coach 

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Posted 11 September 2019 - 11:55 AM

The only thing that saved me from an emotional melt down at the thought of Congress returning to action was the opening of football season, The Great American Game.
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