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2. Trap all illegal immigrants that are in this country by putting a "Free Tequila Day" ruse. The bouncers at the bar would be military and INS personell and ask for a Green Card for ID. If not, they get put on a great big bus back to Me-hi-co. If they're legal, then they get to drink all they want for free that day. Quite an incentive for them. Oh, and ya don;t have to be Mexican to enjoy "Free Tequila Day". This is for everyone.
3. Overturn Roe V. Wade and initiate a program that all female pro-abortion advocates hold a asprin between their knees and keep it there until they assume sexual responsibility.
4. IF gays want to be married.. that's fine. Let em do it on their own country though. Annex from San Fransisco and West Hollywood.
5. Anyone wishing to come over here from overseas will be thouroughly searched, fingerprinted and photographed. If you don't like the inconvienence, stay the hell out. If ya REAAAAALLY wanna be over here that bad, allow at least an hour to an hour and a half.. and prepare for a deep-cavity search. There's bound to be a "Butt Bomber" coming around soon. Also on this, racial profiling will be a must. All of the 9/11 bombers were Muslim immigrants. Not little old ladies. There will be strict racial profiling in this case.
6. PBS would be forced to end it's leftist propaganda such as the Charlie Rose show and air nothing but Sesame Street, and that gay dude with the afro that likes to paint "fluffy, white clouds".
7. Rename the Department of Defense, the Department of American style Ass-Whippings. Just the name oughta scare the hell outta anyone who dares messes with the U.S. Also in this, increase military pay by at least 30%.
8. Outlaw Ricky Martin or any other dumb "flavor of the month" pop-star from playing at the inaugural party for the president. No more "bon-bon" shaking.
9. Issue a flat tax rate of 10% for everyone and get rid of welfare and trailer parks.
10. Get rid of Affirmative Action unless you look like Jaleel White from "Family Matters". Then you deserve our sympathy.
11. My education platform? No school vouchers (even though I fully support them) and no more raises towards public schools. Just bring back the DUNCE cap. Notice kids back in the 50's who were subjected to this humiliation worked their butts off and studied as to not be percieved as the dumbass that they are? Bring back the DUNCE cap, and make it mandatory for anyone who can't locate Uzbekistan on a map, or can't divide 746.481 by 1,549.46.
By the way, the answer's 2.075685784.. incase Echo and QB were wondering...
12. Trade restrictions with France, Germany, Russia, and any other Euro-trash nation (or 3rd world despot country) that is pro-UN, and anti-US. Ya like Nike basketball shoes and Oreo cookies that much? Better get on the right side then!
13. ANWAR will be drilled. No exceptions. I don;t give a damn about the migratory patterns of the Porcupine Caribou.. we need to kick our dependency of foreign oil. Drilling in ANWAR.. even 20% of the 2 million acres, will supply us with 4 trillion barrels of oil.. enough to last at least 30 years. After that, on to the shores of Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard. If the rich beyotches wanna unobstructed view of the Atlantic from their million-dollar beachfront mansions, let 'em move.
14. Put the United Nations in charge of France. (I stole this from somebody but it sounded good.)
15. Get rid of the stupid Designated Hitter rule in Major League baseball. Hey, I'm the president, dammit! I can do what I want!
16. The Death Penalty: Make it nationwide. And as soon as some vile freak is given the death penalty, strap 'em in the chair right away. We'd save 15 grand per year per prisoner if we executed them right away (Most sit on Death Row for at least 5 or 10 years). Give 'em the chair, and let the victim's family pull the switch. This includes murderers who commit pre-meditated killings, political assasins, cop killers, serial rapists, and serial child molestors and also those who still do the Macerena.
17. Every Wednesday would be Free Chocolate Chip Cookie day
This post has been edited by ThaSickness: 17 March 2004 - 11:42 PM
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