Jump to content
To change color scheme, click on themes at bottom of page ×
RightNation.US
Sign in to follow this  
MTP Reggie

Senator Hirono Demands ACB Be Weighed Against A Duck To See If She Is A Witch

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

MTP Reggie

Senator Hirono Demands ACB Be Weighed Against A Duck To See If She Is A Witch
October 14th, 2020
Babylon Bee

<More Here>

WASHINGTON, D.C.—After two days of Amy Coney Barrett gracefully and stoically answering questions with perfect recall and no notes, suspicions grew on Capitol Hill that she might be a practitioner of the dark arts. 

"Oh, she's a witch alright, just look at her!" said Senator Hirono. "Just look at the way she's dressed and how she's so much prettier and smarter than us! She's in league with Beelzebub himself, I just know it! We must burn her!"

Senator Hirono then pulled a live duck out of a massive burlap sack next to her and announced: "In addition to being a Senator, I am also quite wise in the ways of science. Everyone knows witches burn because they are made of wood. I think I read that somewhere. Wood floats, and so do ducks-- so logically, if Amy Coney Barrett weighs as much as this duck I found in the reflection pool outside, she is a witch and must be burned."

The Democrat senators nodded in solemn approval while the Republicans yelled and pounded on their desks a bunch before pouncing and booking interviews with Tucker Carlson.

(snip)

<More Here>

  • Haha (+1) 3
  • Agree (+1) 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tikk

And in other news..

Democrats Hiss In Terror As ACB Pulls Out Crucifix

https://babylonbee.com/

article-7197-2.jpg

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Amy Coney Barrett has eloquently defended herself through the Senate confirmation hearings this morning. But as Dems grew increasingly vicious, she was forced to turn to desperate measures.

After several hours of hearings, Barrett pulled out a large crucifix and held it aloft. A light shone from the heavens, and the Democrats knew they were defeated.

They shrunk back and began to hiss. "Noooo!" cried Senator Richard Blumenthal. "It burns us! Take it away!" He dove under his desk to hide from its light.

"Agggghhhh!!!" screamed Senator Cory Booker, his skin sizzling at the sight of Jesus on the cross. "I'll get you one day, Barrett!"

<snip>

Link

Edited by Tikk
  • Haha (+1) 2
  • Agree (+1) 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MontyPython

:woot: 

A twofer! Babylon Bee AND Monty Python!!

:2up:

 

  • Agree (+1) 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Severian

Well, she did turn me into a newt...what? I got better.

  • Haha (+1) 1
  • Agree (+1) 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MontyPython
2 hours ago, Severian said:

Well, she did turn me into a newt...what? I got better.

 

Build a bridge out of her!

:D 

 

  • Agree (+1) 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Coach

HIrono is further confirmation that only ugly and stupid people are Democat/Socialists.

  • Agree (+1) 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
oki

I demand Hirono be weighed against a bag of rice to make sure she is actually Japanese.

Please though, no jokes about her and Sushi.  She is gross enough without bringing even the most remote thought of dead fish into the picture.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
USMCforever60
6 hours ago, MTP Reggie said:

Senator Hirono Demands ACB Be Weighed Against A Duck To See If She Is A Witch
October 14th, 2020
Babylon Bee

<More Here>

WASHINGTON, D.C.—After two days of Amy Coney Barrett gracefully and stoically answering questions with perfect recall and no notes, suspicions grew on Capitol Hill that she might be a practitioner of the dark arts. 

"Oh, she's a witch alright, just look at her!" said Senator Hirono. "Just look at the way she's dressed and how she's so much prettier and smarter than us! She's in league with Beelzebub himself, I just know it! We must burn her!"

Senator Hirono then pulled a live duck out of a massive burlap sack next to her and announced: "In addition to being a Senator, I am also quite wise in the ways of science. Everyone knows witches burn because they are made of wood. I think I read that somewhere. Wood floats, and so do ducks-- so logically, if Amy Coney Barrett weighs as much as this duck I found in the reflection pool outside, she is a witch and must be burned."

The Democrat senators nodded in solemn approval while the Republicans yelled and pounded on their desks a bunch before pouncing and booking interviews with Tucker Carlson.

(snip)

<More Here>

Sen Hirono is a poster child for testing  to verify oxygen deprivation in the womb!

Edited by USMCforever60
  • Haha (+1) 1
  • Agree (+1) 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Severian
1 hour ago, USMCforever60 said:

Sen Hirono is a poster child for testing  to verify oxygen deprivation in the womb!

I didn't know they had that much lead paint in Hawaii.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
zurg

If she throws very small stones in a glass house is that ok? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ASE
4 hours ago, Severian said:

I didn't know they had that much lead paint in Hawaii.

There used to be lots more, but she ate most of it...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...